Around this time last year, I was writing about my high hopes for the following year, 2016. Pretty much like anyone else, I looked at 2016 like a beacon of hope, a new chapter in a rather terrible book that is my life. Little did I know, that if I thought I was sad in 2015, well, double that in 2016. I won’t say that “Oh, I won’t want it any other way!” because I feel like that is hypocritical. I feel like that is so in-genuine when half the year I was miserable, the other half exhausted.
2016 was the time I turned twenty. I was so terrified, I remember staying up until midnight and just staring at my phone’s clock and counting down to the time I will be leaving my teen years. And might I just say, I didn’t really understand how seven years of teen life just flew by in a jiffy. I was so scared because I had all these high hopes for myself that I was supposed to already have. I was supposed to leave 2015 with a bachelor’s degree. Yet, here I am, a whole year passed by and I still have nothing. I think I have never felt like such a failure until this year. It might be fitting to say that 2016 had that effect on most people. There’s a meme going around that in history’s perspective, 2016 is the “time we never talk about.” But jokes aside, I feel like this has been the year I struggled so hard in my individuality, friendly relationships, single life, faith, church, self-image, family matters, school and, hell yas, money. So many things just started dropping around me since I failed my thesis defense last year. November 22, 2015. I will never forget the date.
So, why the hell am I writing this little piece? I want to actually write down my resolutions. A whole month away from 2017. Because why the hell not? So, please, 2017 I implore you to be good to me. And if you don’t, I implore God to help me rise up to the occasion. It’s been a tough year. I’m sure not only for me, but to other people out there as well. But, I just have to get these all out there. I want to be happy in 2017. I don’t want it to be another fiasco that I was in 2016. But, as much as I’m saying all these, I want to still keep my hopes up. After all, there’s still a month left. But, these are my resolutions. Because fuck it, I need a change.
Gem’s New Year’s Resolutions for 2017:
- Read 100 books.
- Be a little friendlier than before.
- Smile a little wider and little more often.
- Be a stronger and a role model Christian young lady. (I mean, I’ll try. 😂 But yeah)
- Get healthier–be more comfortable with what God has given me.
- Spend a little more time laughing along with the family, even the extended family.
- (Well, tbh, I am hoping you have already graduated by now. But here it is still.) Work HARDER on school-related matters. (Perhaps, enroll in a new program for Master’s? :P)
- Save ten percent of your prospective income which cannot be ABSOLUTELY touched unless there are emergencies.
- Build a bucket list and, damn it, tick them off.
- Write in a real journal every day (or night idk).
And I won’t wait for 2017, change starts now.
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